just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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