i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
