Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
