Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
