Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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