I'm lost and stupid without you.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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