It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
