You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's shark week go big or go home
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
