Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
