So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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