As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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