If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i now understand why vodka
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