i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
