My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
