im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
