Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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