Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
handjob tips. give me some.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
