are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
