my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
