Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
