thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
