i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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