my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
