ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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