Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
