You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
