she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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