She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
