sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize