Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
