i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
