just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
