I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We don't watch enough power rangers
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize