oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
