Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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