okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
