Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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