actually, I'm a sock model
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dicks are not precious.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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