you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize