And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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