Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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