Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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