So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
