At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
