dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
