you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Alive.
So much puke
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
