Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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