The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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