Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
