JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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