Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
