You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
