Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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