I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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