You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
