one might say we're banned from that church
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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