Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
