Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
