I heard we made out
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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