I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize