I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
