I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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