Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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