There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
