If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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