Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
