It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
