but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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